11. 'Can We Go Home Now?'

Can you imagine the thoughts that must have bombarded the Israelite’s minds when they found out that they were to leave Egypt … not as captive slaves, but as a free people!?

From the day they were strong enough to carry bricks or work in the fields, the Israelite children would have been put to work. Their lives would have consisted of the same daily grind as their parents, with the constant fear hanging over them of being beaten or punished if they under-performed.

Most of them had never been anywhere other than their homes and their designated place of work. Adventure was never on the cards for a slave; they probably didn’t even understand what the word ‘journey’ meant, so their excitement, and trepidation, at the thought of leaving Egypt must have been tremendous.

As a child growing up in Zimbabwe, I went on many journeys, most of them to holiday destinations. I can remember so clearly the excitement of waking up, knowing that today was ‘the day’, the magical moment when Mum and Dad emerged from the house, Mum clutching a large, enticing rectangular Tupperware box, Dad carrying the keys of the house. Oh, the unspeakable joy as we pulled slowly out of our long driveway and onto the road! Mum and Dad always said that the holiday started the minute we drove out the gate, so we would usually cheer, put some fun travelling music on, and talk about what we were looking forward to doing on our holiday.

Before very long, Mum’s Tupperware box would be opened, revealing a tantalising selection of sandwiches. These were not just any old sandwiches, mind you, these were Mum’s special holiday sandwiches, with all our favourite fillings: chicken mayo, cheese and pickle, ham and salad, egg mayonnaise, and absolutely NO salad or tomatoes in my brother’s sandwiches! They were always soft and fresh and delicious, cut into small triangles that were easy to handle and quick to consume. It’s strange that something as ordinary as sandwiches could seem so special, but they were. It wasn’t really about the sandwiches; it was the fact that these sandwiches were for ‘the journey’. That’s what made them special.

Although we were blessed to have some wonderful holidays, there were also some that weren’t so wonderful. You know the ones … the journeys where the car breaks down and you find yourselves stranded in the middle of nowhere, or where you take a wrong turn and get stuck in a never-ending traffic jam with nighttime fast approaching. What about the holiday hotels that looked like paradise on the brochure but, in reality, are nothing like it? When the ‘spacious bungalow with fully equipped kitchen’ turns out to be a box-like shack with a notable absence of modern conveniences?

It's at times like that when you start to think to yourself, ‘What are we doing here?’ It’s also around about that time when you hear your kids ask that dreaded question: “Can we go home now?”

It wasn’t long before the children of Israel asked that same question. Their dreams had turned into nightmares; this was not what they had signed up for! They signed up for getting out of Egypt, escaping the brutality of their Egyptian overlords, and finding their own home where they could settle and raise their families, not the never-ending nightmare of trudging around the desert, never knowing where they were headed or whether there would be enough water to keep them alive.

Their disappointment must have been immense, and they did what most of us do when we’re disappointed with the journey we’re on: they complained. They said those wretched words, “Can we go home now?” or, in their words, “Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?” (Numbers 14:3)

Their disappointment was so severe that they were seriously contemplating leaving their new life of freedom, in order to go back to their predictable life of slavery in Egypt. It may sound ludicrous to us – I mean, seriously? You are actually thinking of going back to being beaten and oppressed, when you could be free?

But disappointment can do that to you.

It’s a word that is bandied around fairly freely but, disappointment can do a lot of damage. The Israelite’s exodus from Egypt, in all likelihood, did not begin with cheers, as our family trips did, but with fear and trepidation.

Unlike us, the Jews didn’t experience the inconvenience of being stuck in a lengthy traffic jam. No, they found themselves trapped between the fast-flowing waters of the Red Sea and a fully weaponised army of Egyptian soldiers, facing what looked like certain death.

No delicious sandwiches were provided for their journey, just unleavened bread and some hastily gathered foodstuffs, with no services along the way to restock. Their arrival time at their destination took a lot longer than expected – nearly forty years longer – and of course, they didn’t have a comfortable car to sit in while they journeyed. They carried their meagre belongings on their backs, trudging day after day, week after week, year after year through a dry, arid wilderness.

Proverbs 13:12 tells us that “hope deferred makes the heart sick”. The devil will use disappointment to destroy your faith; he will try to knock you down time after time until disappointment erodes your faith. But do you know what God uses to build your faith?

Disappointment!

Because if you will choose to turn to Him when you face disappointment, and deal with the pain instead of suppressing it, faith will grow. And I’m sure you’ve heard what happens to ‘mustard seeds’ of faith – they grow into huge, strong trees!

Disappointment is an unavoidable part of life for every one of us, albeit some to a lesser or greater degree than others. However, the casual way it is sometimes bandied around can belie the depth of pain that can accompany it. If we don’t deal with it, disappointment can cripple us. I know, because it happened to me. When we first came to England from Zimbabwe. We encountered disappointment after disappointment and saw our hopes dashed again and again. After a while, my heart just couldn’t handle the constant flow of disappointments and, instead of processing the pain, I supressed it, which had a detrimental effect on my soul.

Thankfully, God was gracious and, over time, I learnt how to deal with the disappointments that kept tripping me up.

Have you encountered a lot of disappointment? If so, I’d really like to help you. In the next few blogs, we’re going to look at this topic of disappointment. I’ll share some of my experiences with you, and tell you how our faithful Father helped me walk through it into a place of greater freedom – and I know He will do the same for you!

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Until next time ….

Ask yourself, “Is there disappointment in my life that I have not yet acknowledged?”

Ask Holy Spirit to show you what these are and make a list of them, being as specific as you can about why you were disappointed and what you had wanted to happen. (We will deal with processing them soon but, for now, concentrate on bringing these disappointments to the surface and writing them down.)

How did they affect you? How did you respond during those times?

Nicky Heymans is an author of historical fiction who is known for drawing fresh life and inspiration out of familiar Bible stories. She would love to hear from you! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions by scrolling down to the bottom of this page and clicking on the 'contact' link, and she will get back to you.