35. Redeeming the Memories

Hi, and welcome back to the Walking Through Wilderness blog series! In this week’s blog, I’d like to share with you something very special which Holy Spirit taught me a few years ago. It’s something I’ve found extremely helpful, especially when dealing with tough situations and disappointments – the principle of redeeming memories.

It came about because my son had been struggling for years in a particular area of his life. I felt a strong call to pray for him and, during one of my prayer times, Holy Spirit brought back to my mind something that had happened between the two of us years before. He revealed to me that part of the reason for my son’s present difficulty was because of what had happened back then. When he was a teenager, as most teenagers do, he did something that disappointed and, if I’m honest, angered me. I didn’t handle the situation well at all (in fact, if the truth be told, I totally lost the plot and ended up yelling at him). My wonderful husband got involved, we sorted the situation out as best we could and moved on.

  However, unfortunately, and unbeknown to me, that incident and my ungodly reaction to it, had caused a root of shame to grow in my son’s heart. There is a big difference in guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about something you have done; guilt says, “You’ve done a bad thing”. Shame, on the other hand, is feeling bad about who you are as a person, so shame will tell you “You’re a bad person”. Shame attacks the inner core of who you are as a person and its roots go deep. I had unintentionally been party to planting that seed of shame in my son’s heart. Now, years down the line, Holy Spirit brought that memory back to me and gently told me that I was to have the privilege of helping him uproot it.

            My son and I had an honest talk about what had happened all those years before and we were able to pray together and lay it before the Lord. I asked his forgiveness for how I had reacted and the damage it had caused him, and he asked my forgiveness for doing what he had done. We forgave one another and spoke life over each other. That reconciliation was beautiful and cleansing.

Then Jesus said to me, “I am going to redeem this memory.” I was curious, because I hadn’t heard that terminology before, (although I have since found out that it is not new!) so I asked Him what that meant. He told me that every time I brought a painful or disappointing memory before Him in prayer, He would redeem it and make it beautiful. The next time that memory would come to mind, it would be a beautiful memory, not a painful one.

The incident with my son, something that had been full of pain, was redeemed and, to this day, when I think of it I have only love and gratitude to Jesus for giving us such a precious moment of restoration and redemption.

It takes courage to ask Him to redeem a memory because the process involves you going back into that memory. Our natural tendency is to suppress anything that looks like it will cause us pain, so it feels foreign to us to intentionally go back and recall the details of what happened. It’s like a dusty old trunk that we keep in a dark attic in the ‘house of our heart’, locked away where no-one can see it. We think that, because it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind, but it’s not. That trunk is still there, stuffed full of all the painful things we’ve locked away and, if we don’t take them out and deal with them, they start to spill over into the rest of our ‘heart house’.

My trunk was full to overflowing with disappointments; I knew I had to unlock it and deal with them. I kept randomly remembering things that had happened years and years ago (even back to my childhood) and, after a while, I realised that this was the kindness of God in bringing those memories to the surface so I could bring them to Him for redeeming.

God is the only one who can redeem painful memories because Jesus’ death on the cross paid the price to redeem our lives; His death literally bought us out of the clutches of the devil.

So, over a period of time, as each memory came to the forefront of my mind, I pictured myself back in that place where the memory happened. I processed the pain, received a divine exchange of emotions and did some lie busting, just like we’ve talked about over the past few blogs. I encountered the kindness of God as he washed away the pain. I took that painful memory out of the darkness of that dusty trunk and placed it into a bright treasure chest of precious memories – memories that had been in darkness but were now redeemed by the light and love of a wonderful, kind Father.  

What had been dark was now full of warmth and light. 

What had been painful was now precious.

What had been dusty and old, Father God touched and made it clean and new.

If you think that, like me, you may have a dusty trunk full of disappointments or painful memories, I wouldn’t suggest you try to dredge them up all at once. Rather, ask Holy Spirit to bring them to your attention and deal with them one by one. Trust Him. It doesn’t have to be a heavy, onerous process, it can be a beautiful encounter. He knows which ones to fetch from the trunk, and He knows when the right time is for you to deal with them. He’s so good at the ‘what’ and the ‘when’ – He knows what we can handle and what we need to deal with first.

So today, I want to encourage you to bring each memory before Him for redeeming and, over time, you will find your dusty trunk will be replaced by a beautiful treasure chest of thankfulness.             

Until next time ….

Ask Father God to bring to your mind any memories that need redeeming.

When a memory suddenly comes to mind, take it out, bring it into the light, process the paint attached to that memory, and let His ‘divine exchange’ take place.

Thank Him for redeeming it, receive His love and peace, and place it inside your treasure chest of precious memories.

Nicky Heymans is an author of historical fiction who is known for drawing fresh life and inspiration out of familiar Bible stories. She would love to hear from you! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions by scrolling down to the bottom of this page and clicking on the 'contact' link, and she will get back to you.