46. Take The Pen

Today, we bring to a close the theme of ‘Free to Be Me’. The process of understanding who we truly are, who God created us to be, is a long one. However, it is so wonderful when you get to the stage when you are able to say that you not only love who you are, but you actually like yourself too! For many, many years, I couldn’t say that. I didn’t like myself. I sort of loved myself, because I was told that, if you’re a Christian, you must love yourself, otherwise you’re rejecting God’s creation, as He made you.

But I didn’t like myself.

I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, and be happy with the person staring back at me.

Have you ever taken the time to look at yourself in the mirror, close up, staring into your own eyes, for a few minutes? It’s quite an experience and you might find that a few minutes seems like a lot longer! It is said that the eyes are the window to the soul and so, by looking into someone’s eyes, you can look into their soul and discern where they’re at. That’s why, when someone avoids eye contact and is reluctant to look at you, it’s a dead give-away that they are hiding something!

Can you say that you love and accept yourself completely, warts and all?

Can you say that you like you?

Can you look into your own eyes in the mirror, or do you feel the urge to look away? What do you see in your own eyes? Who is that reflection in the mirror?

As a teenager and into my adult years, I belonged to a strong faith church. I learnt quite early on how I was expected to live my life and I was told what God wanted from me. I learnt a lot of solid Biblical principles from that church, which I will always be grateful for, but unfortunately, I also learnt how to strive so hard to be the person that I thought I was supposed to be, that I lost sight of the real me. A lot of the time the person I was trying to be wasn’t actually who God had made me to be – it was someone who I thought other people thought I should be.

There are countless scriptures that tell us positionally who we are, as children of God: a new creation, dead to sin, alive to Christ, delivered from darkness and transferred into the Kingdom of His son Jesus, chosen in Christ, no longer a slave, sealed with the Holy Spirit, made in the image of God… These positional truths are profound and essential to who we are as Christians and I strongly encourage you to study and meditate on them.

However, for the purpose of what we’re talking about in this blog, I’d like to encourage you to build on that scriptural foundation by asking Father personal questions so He can speak to you about who He has made you to be. There is nothing quite like hearing it straight from Him!

Psalm 139 is such a help when it comes to discovering our true identity. “You formed my inward parts”, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, “I was made in secret and skilfully wrought”, “how precious are Your thoughts to me”, “You have searched me and known me”…these are just a few of the beautiful verses that the psalmist has written.

Do you know the thoughts that Father God has toward you? Do you know what He thinks of you personally? Have you ever asked Him? Ask Him. Ask Him questions like:

“What do you like most about me?”

“What part of my personality do you like the most?”

“What do you love about my appearance?”

“What do I do that makes you smile?”

“What thoughts that I think make you sad?”

This isn’t the easiest thing to do, but please persevere because, as you continue to do this, you will hear Him tell you what He thinks of you, and that is life changing. When you know what your Father thinks of you, you’ll be able to say with absolute confidence, like the psalmist, ‘How precious are Your thoughts towards me’.

If there was a book written about you, what kind of book would it be? We’ve talked about our uniqueness, our culture and perspectives, and the core values we live our lives by. Do you know who you are? Are you able to measure your worth by whose you are, not how you perform in life? What are your strengths and weaknesses, your challenges? How are you wired?

I like to imagine that, when we’re born, a brand-new book is opened in heaven, with our name engraved on the front. An angelic scribe is assigned to help us write that book – the book contains our story, and we get to be the hero of our own story.

No-one else has the right to write your story. No-one else has the right to take that pen. They don’t get to write who you should be, or what you should do. Only your loving Father, the One who created you.

We were created to live extraordinary lives with God; lives filled with joy as well as some pain, of lessons learned and victories celebrated – for without facing our fears and dealing with pain, there can be nothing to celebrate. It’s a life where we can be the hero of our own story, fighting the good fight of faith, and giving our lives in service to God and man.

When our amazingly good Father takes hold of our hearts, He makes us extraordinary! He makes heroes of us all. So be who you are. Ask the God who created you to show you who He has made you to be.

Let the truth sink deep into your heart.

Discover how uniquely and wonderfully He has made you, then you can say with assurance, “I’m free to be me!”

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Until next time ….

Ask yourself the questions mentioned in this blog. Write down what comes to mind straight away, without over-thinking it. Leave space to write more as Holy Spirit shows you over the coming days, weeks and months.

Do you struggle to like yourself?

Read Psalm 139, out loud if possible, then find a mirror and look into your own eyes for at least a minute while thinking about the words you have just read. You can also say a verse while doing this, for instance, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.

Nicky Heymans is an author of historical fiction who is known for drawing fresh life and inspiration out of familiar Bible stories. She would love to hear from you! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions by scrolling down to the bottom of this page and clicking on the 'contact' link, and she will get back to you.