34. I'm Listening

Hi and welcome back! We’re going to finish the section on processing disappointment today with this blog, which is all about listening. I know, it’s something that a lot of us aren’t very good at, but hang in there!

At this stage, it’s important to understand that processing is not about ‘naval gazing’, getting deeply introspective. This last step in processing is about talking with and listening to Holy Spirit, and then partnering with Him to bring about any changes needed. If you will take the time to listen, He will speak to you and will release hope and healing in place of the disappointment or pain you may have carried.

The prophet Samuel in the Bible started hearing God’s voice as a boy, when he was living with a priest named Eli in the temple. One night, God spoke to Samuel three times but, each time, he thought it was Eli. Eli eventually clocked what was happening and told Samuel to say, “Speak, for Your servant is listening” (NIV). Samuel did that, and it was the beginnings of his ministry as a prophet of Yahweh.

So why am I telling you that? Because I want to encourage you not to give up if you don’t hear anything straight away. Listen, and keep listening! Hearing God is not an instant process; it takes time to get to know His voice and how He speaks to you, but if you keep listening, you will get there, so don’t give up. So often, people don’t realise that God uses our thoughts to speak to us, so don’t discount any thoughts that ‘pop’ into your mind while you’re listening by thinking, ‘that’s just me’.

God might give you a strategy of how to deal with your situation; for instance, He might give the person with work difficulties a strategy for how to deal with their boss the next time he picks on them. He might impart some heavenly understanding and insight which you may not be aware of, or a word of knowledge such as why the boss is so grumpy (perhaps there are difficult situations he is dealing with at home or in his family life).

When I process, Holy Spirit will often give me a scripture which acts like an anchor in the time of trouble. As I renew my mind and meditate on that scripture, it transforms the way I think about the situation and gives me His perspective instead of my own earthly one, which is so important. 

Father will often give me a picture which brings understanding to my heart, and sometimes He will simply tell me what He thinks or feels about the situation I have found myself in.

In James 1:5 we are encouraged to ask God for wisdom, because He gives generously to all without finding fault. What a great promise! His wisdom is available to us whenever we ask, so let’s ask for it.

Be kind to yourself

To finish off with, I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself. I know this might sound a bit self-indulgent, but processing negative things like disappointment can be intense, so a little kindness can go a long way. It’s also best not to do too much of it at one time. Allow yourself to be human and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself.

I totally believe in the importance of ‘digging our own well’ with the Father, so I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be pressing into Him. But what I am saying is that you can’t dig a well 24 hours of every day – sometimes you need a break!

Society today is so focussed on the destination, the end product, if you will. However, if we’re not careful, we can become too focussed on ‘getting answers quickly’ and forget that it’s all about our relationship with God. He knows how to speak our language and speaks to everyone in different ways, in the way that they will receive it and hear it best.

So, allow yourself time to just relax in-between processing times. Chill out and have some fun, otherwise the intensity of dealing with your ‘stuff’ could overwhelm you. Allow yourself time off to do whatever you need to do.

Be kind to yourself.

Make time just to be still and reflect.

Take a walk, get some fresh air, find some open spaces or a change of perspective.

What do you enjoy doing? Do it! Make time for yourself to do the things that you love to do. Do something that you enjoy, and which is fun for you.

Our lives don’t always have to be full of super spiritual or productive stuff, and so often it’s when I’m not consciously ‘trying’ to hear Holy Spirit, that He speaks to me the loudest. He speaks through the everyday events and activities. For instance, I love doing jigsaws and making cards, and He will often speak to me while I’m doing that. At other times when my mind is so full of ‘stuff’ that I’m dealing with, the only thing that helps take my mind off it is watching a movie. For me, watching a ‘feel good’ movie that lifts my heart or inspires me makes all the difference and clears all the ‘mind fog’ away. When you watch a movie, Holy Spirit is right there with you – He doesn’t go away and He isn’t limited to only speaking to you when you read your Bible or pray.  Some of the deepest revelations I’ve received have been given to me when watching a movie.

So, set aside time to ask Jesus the questions, listen to Him, and be kind to yourself. Receive His kindness and His grace as you process those painful disappointments or memories.

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Until next time ….

Choose one thing that is troubling you, tell Holy Spirit about it and ask Him what He wants to tell you about that particular situation.

Listen to Him and open your heart to receive a strategy, a scripture to meditate on, or a nugget of wisdom.

If it doesn’t come straight away, carry on with life and keep your heart open. He WILL speak, just not always when you expect Him to, or in the way you expect Him to! 

Nicky Heymans is an author of historical fiction who is known for drawing fresh life and inspiration out of familiar Bible stories. She would love to hear from you! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions by scrolling down to the bottom of this page and clicking on the 'contact' link, and she will get back to you.